Public Stoning Boobing

Recently in Tampa, a woman nursing her two year old daughter in the front office lobby of a public elementary school was told her actions were not appropriate and asked to go into another room. Some, maybe even most women may not even understand why this is such a devastating hit to those of us that have stuck through the frustrating latching on problems, the sore and sometime blistering nipples and demanding time constraints of nursing in an effort to feed our children the milk that was uniquely created specifically for their individual needs and bond with them in a way that nothing else can compare to. While most moms make the decision to breastfeed their babies, some find the task to be too difficult to stick with. Although, nursing an infant is quite natural it is a learning process for both mom and baby, even if mom has nursed children before. It is a process that requires lots of patience, encouragement and sometimes even pain.

When I had Javion, I probably had more people fondling my breasts than I ever had in my lifetime, between the nurses, doctors and lactation specialist. Even though I had breastfed 3 children prior, he was not what you would call a natural when it came to chow time. I quickly lost all sense of dignity and discretion, when every two hours on schedule I had a different person grabbing my boob and trying to shove my nipple in his mouth (there’s no sugar coating the beginning learning stages). When he was first born, I had a pediatrician say my milk was not enough for him, even though his blood glucose levels had tested well within the norms for a post diabetic pregnancy newborn. I was then forced to feed my son formula just so they would let me go home. Then one week post partum I ended up with mastitis and back in the hospital for my next round of boobmongers. Even with the separation between me and my newborn son for 4 days, the IV antibiotics, contrast drinks and diagnostic testing, (not to mention the lack of knowledge of the med-surg nursing staff that treated me) I still managed to overcome the adversity and pump at night and nurse during the day when Ren brought him to visit me. When I was finally discharged home, I vowed that my journey not be in vain and that I would continue to breastfeed exclusively. Most women would have given up at the point of them wanting to insert a rectal probe to check for endometriosis, but I stuck it out (and I feel I should mention that I did not, repeat did not, allow them to violate me in such a manner). Once home, Javion screamed at every feeding time when he could not latch on properly and I got frustrated, but I (we) hung in there once again. After all we had been through up to that point, there was no turning back and eventually he got the hang of it.

I have four children. That being said my life did not stop because I had a newborn to breastfeed. I did not have time to become a homebound agoraphobe. I had to go to school programs, conferences, awards, chorus concerts, baseball games, football games and even grocery shopping. I also had a nursing infant. I would boob him before I left, but sometimes the situation would call for a public feeding. I was not going to let my baby starve for the sake of strangers who may have a problem seeing my breast. By this point in time, Javion was hooked on the boob milk. I would try to give him a bottle of formula and he would immediately spit it out and look at me like I was crazy. It was like trying to convince Carrie Bradshaw that my $30 Manolo Blahnik knock offs are the real deal. Needless to say, he didn’t buy it. Why would he though? Why would he settle for a foul smelling, sour tasting knock off, when he had the perfectly blended, sweet smelling, frosted flake tasting milk at his disposal? (Yes, I have tasted it)

Now it was never my intention to nurse him past the age of 12 months. I was so excited when his birthday approached because I just knew he would love whole milk and I would finally have my body back to myself after almost two years. “Crack open the Vodka guys, mama wants a cocktail!” Yeah, I was so naïve. After struggling to wean him and researching the best way to do so, I have finally gotten to the point of nursing strictly at night. There are times however, that he may still nurse during the day. It isn’t often, usually only when he needs comfort. I never thought I would be the mom to still be breastfeeding a walking toddler that can (and does) walk up and try to lift up my shirt when he wants boobs. I never thought about breastfeeding a baby with teeth and yet here I am doing just that. I know some people may not find this acceptable and that is their opinion. But for us, it is what works. I hope that he is fully weaned soon, but I have accepted the fact that he will give it up when he is ready just as he has done during the day time. I no longer fear that when he goes off to kindergarten he will want to take my boobs with him. I have become comfortable with the taboo as I have heard the remarks from my friends and family as well as strangers. I can only say that I am parenting the way that fits my family and child the best and I also respect the same of others.

Public boobing is not really an issue for us anymore, but I feel compassion for those who still need or even choose to do so because it is their lawful right. As a society, we should be applauding these women for their sacrifices of their bodies as well as their pride for the sake of their children. It is not an easy choice to make considering the public persecution that breastfeeding moms face. I know it’s hard to believe, (if I were doing voice over this would be my sarcastic tone) but we are not pervs and do not crave attention. We simply do what is best for our children and as women, as mothers, we should all be supportive of one another in doing just that, rather than verbally attacking each other. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but breastfeeding makes me healthy.

So in case you are still wondering my stance on public boobing, this was my response to the topic on a mommy forum: I am a nursing mom of a 13 month old. I have also nursed 3 other children before him. I have never used a cover up because I feel it is suffocating to an infant especially in Florida with this heat. I try my best to cover my breast with my shirt, which is normal for a pro. However, I have rather large breasts and sometimes it is unavoidable to show some skin. I will not apologize for feeding my child in public or otherwise because HE and his well-being alone is my priority, not the small minds of others. If you personally do not feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, that is your choice. If you don't feel comfortable with a woman breastfeeding in public, that is your problem not mine so please do not ask me to be "considerate." Also you do have the choice not to look. I have an 8 yr old "impressionable" son who doesn't think twice about breastfeeding whether it be me or someone else. Think about it, if you don't think it should be up to someone else to teach your child about breastfeeding, then do it yourself so they won't have to learn about it by witnessing the act in person.

Breastfeeding is as normal and as not "inappropriate" as being pregnant. If a woman with an infant in utero is out in public kids might stare and point out her pregnant belly (body part). Do we ask them not to be pregnant in public? Can you please go in another room and be pregnant because you are causing a distraction. No we do not. We teach children about bodies and pregnancy in public educating schools. If you want to shelter your children from reality, then homeschool them.

To the person who questioned the WHO and mentioned that if we do not live in third world countries then we shouldn't breastfeed past a certain socially accepted age (6 months perhaps?), why would we subject our children to artificially manufactured and less nutritious sources of milk when we as mommies have the best for them. Would you subject your kids to greasy burgers and sugary cookies when they would prefer carrot sticks and apple slices? We do not get offended when you whip out and "flaunt" your bottles to feed your children so what gives you the right to tell us when, where and how we should feed ours?